Find yourself…through prayer.

Sooooo it has taken me too long to finally start this post. I guess I just get a little bit of writers block, but I guess I would have to be a writer for that to happen;) So I hope this post makes sense. Let me introduce myself a little more. My name is Amy. I am the youngest of the three of us. I have the two very best older sisters anyone could ask for. I may not be perfect and I have still lots to learn but I have my sisters. I love them both more then they probably know and I look up to them…well down since Im taller but you know what I mean;) I just recently got home from serving a mission in Sweden for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and for those of you who don't know what that is it's pretty much volunteer service to teach people about the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have been home for almost 10 weeks now. Wow it is crazy how time flies and I had no idea I would be where I am now. Where is that you might ask…well I will save that for later;) Lets flash back a bit. When I was preparing to come home I was scared and nervous, I mean 18 months away from my family and friends I had no idea what to expect but I knew it was time. I had given that fear to the Lord and I knew that it was all going to be ok. When I got home I'll have to admit I was in a daze. I may have 'acted' normal but that fear came back and I knew that it was reality. Of course being a missionary you are still a real person haha don't think I am crazy but those problems and trials that I helped people with in Sweden I was a fool to think that I would come home and my family and myself wouldn't have to go through them and deal with any of it. All I wanted was to have everything perfect. I was wrong for thinking that way. What I wasn't realizing though was that I was trying to fix others and help them before I myself was in one piece. Yes, I had served a mission and people say you find yourself out there and I did. That is what I am talking about. Ever since I had been home I couldn't find ME again. I hated that. I was only treading the water and not really swimming. I had to do what we all should be doing everyday. Pray. I promise I was praying and my sincerity and surety only needs to go to the Lord but I want you all to know that I did come to the realization that I wasn't praying for the right things and I had to open my heart and listen to a new idea. A new plan. God's plan. I hadn't noticed enough how much God had been blessing me since I had gotten home. He was giving me answers after answers and I just wasn't listening the best I should have been. But then our perfect Father uses our weaknesses only to give us strength. I took that to heart and 3 weeks ago on a Monday morning I woke up to a txt from one of my sisters asking if I could help clean her basement and she'd pay me. I thought that was pretty strange because I never dreamed to ask them for money in return with helping them clean or babysit. I mean, I ate dinner at their house ALL the time so I thought that was more then enough:) (that is just the added bonus. I love being over there and their children are my everything.) I took that as a catalyst to why my brain started thinking of moving to Utah. Well an added jump to thinking of the possibility. My best friend, Star, who soon would be married lives in Utah and my other best friend had just left to go back down to school there. As much as I love Alaska and yes it will ALWAYS be my home, I was just not happy. I wanted to find me again. So that morning after reading the txt, I prayed. Out loud. I was serious. I grabbed my phone (in mid prayer) yeah that might be weird, but I asked ok Father, when do I move to Utah? I opened up to my calendar and September 10 could not have popped out more. I knew that this is what He wanted me to do. I will shorten this story by just saying that that night my Daddy bought me a ticket to Utah. Star told me a girl is just up and moving out of the house I wanted to move into, and I got a job interview. I just can't express enough how much I believe in Gods plan. Now of course it has not been perfect down here either but God is so aware of us all. We just have to let Him in. An example, I had to quit my job after a week of training for whatever reason and I was scared. I was scared I wouldn't make rent or have enough money for food etc. but God gave me so much more. He blessed me with another job offer which I start tomorrow and it was a pay raise! I planned it out to a T with my money, what would be rent what would be tithing and what would I have left to spend on food. I had exactly enough. No joke down to the very dollars. I told you earlier I would tell you where I am at and you all probably pieced it together, she's in Utah! but as true as that may be I am somewhere better. I am where the Lord wants me to be. I am where I want to be. I am finding myself again, and I am on the road to something greater because I am on the Lord's road. My mother tells me all the time "Amy, if you are not where you are, you are nowhere." Well my friends…where are you?