We're baaaaaack!!!!!

Let's just dive in shall we?

Fairly recently I got granted with some amazing blessings and along with it a lot of complaining, on my part, to the person that means the most to me. How silly. I know exactly what I should be doing and have yet to make the effort. O.K. You are all probably super confused right now. So lets get real. Wait for it. Keep waiting. I am going to get really real with you right now so be ready :)

After having moved home to Alaska for four months I prayed for several things to happen in my life once I moved back to Utah. I got Every.Single.Thing granted to me that I had prayed for. Don't get me wrong. I have offered up many prayers full of gratitude.I don't remember which prophet asked us why it is the people that we love most and are closest to us that we also hurt the most. I have been such a mess the last week. Like SUPER emotional and I am humble enough to say, as a woman, I have been freaking CRAZY! As we all are sometimes. It is OK to have some off days. Or in my case, an entire week. Which I KNOW will turn into a month if I do not change my attitude right now.

It is SO important to take a step back and check who we are affecting though. My poor boyfriend, who is so incredibly sweet and understanding with me, has been the one to take the heat of my crazy. That is the LAST person I ever want to hurt or be impatient with. It took be until, just about 30 mins ago when I texted my sisters, to realize what I needed to do. My best friend here in Utah, Mel, needed me. And I felt needed! It took all of 5 minutes to help her but the spirit and feeling I got afterwards slapped me back into reality to realize what I have in life. Little acts of service or just pure love really does the heart and soul some good.

This experience has changed my perspective in trying to become the person I was on my mission-loving and all about serving and staying as close to my Savior as I possibly can. And then taking that love I feel from Him and showering it over everyone around me. Especially those I care most about. I love my Sweet amazing boyfriend. I love my best friends. I love my family. And I LOVE my Savior. I hope that this can bring you some encouragement that we are all a little crazy sometimes. But it is so important to recognize the hand of God in our lives. He didn't have to bless me with someone in need. But He did. And I am so grateful for it.

I am awesome!

So because kids can be so funny it is important that I share some of those sweet moments. You know the ones that make you laugh and fall in love with your child all over again !

Yesterday I was slammed with a migraine, which happens more than I'd like. I was slowly trying to get through the last of the painting in the girls room. Brianna came In and sat down next to me

Brianna : "mom, Natalie put glue on me so I put some on her!"

Me: " who are you telling on, you or Natalie?!"

Brianna: (pause)

"me!"

(Pause)

"I am awesome! It is so awesome being me!"

I hope we all can realize our individual awesomeness even when we make mistakes!

Ether 12 : 27

I'm not a  "scriptorian" by any means but there are always those scriptures that are quoted quite often so they become very familiar to you. I became even more familiar with one this week.

First, some background. My husband has a mobile welding business. Meaning he is mobile and can go anywhere to do jobs but occasionally the jobs come to our home and are done in our garage. Now his welder has a utility cord so it doesn't go in a regular outlet. He has two options. First option, plug it into his large generator which is VERY loud. Not his favorite but it's convenient. His second option, if you pull our oven out from it's nook and unplug it it has the same outlet he needs for the welder. Much quieter. Not convenient for mom however. This usually means the oven is unplugged for several hours and meals have to change and become usually breakfast on the griddle or sandwiches. Another thing happens when the oven gets moved around. Everything in the drawer UNDERNEATH the oven moves.

I'm probably like most women in the sense that I like similar things to be kept in the same place. I like all my baking pans to be kept together... under the oven. This being said I crammed all of my muffin pans, cake pans, pie pans, and cookie sheets in this drawer. Now, my experience.

Friday morning I got up to make my little boys birthday cake and approximately 36 cupcakes. All the pans for which were in said oven drawer. I got the cake batter ready and the oven preheated and went to open the drawer to get the pans and .............
Nothing. It wouldn't open! Weird... I thought to myself what is going on? So I tried to peak through the 1/2 inch gap to see what was blocking me from my pans and it was ... my pans. My cookie sheets must have moved around during the last welding job and got wedged on the ledge above the drawer.
Let me just share my thoughts at this point.


"UHG! HOW RUDE IS HE!!!! THIS IS SO INCONVENIENT! I CAN'T BELIVE THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! CAN HE NOT JUST USE HIS STUPID GENERATOR HE ALWAYS HAS TO DO THINGS IN A WAY THAT RUINS WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO! HEAVENLY FATHER CAN'T YOU PLEASE HELP ME????!!!"

Now at the end of my little poop fest in my head notice I finally invited someone else into the conversation. Now let me share his reply.

"You need to take a break and go read your scriptures."

Ok, I was really irritated and it took hearing this reply several more times for me to listen. When I finally did I grabbed my scriptures and opened to the last place I had read. I'm rereading the Book of Mormon and have just gotten to the book of Jacob. I went on to read Jacob chapter 3 verse 7 "Behold, their husbands love their wives and their wives love their husbands...." the scripture continues but that first part hit me like a slap in the face. My husband wasn't home, he wasn't doing something to be rude or irritate me on purpose and quite honestly who is to say if him moving the oven really created this situation or if I was the one who caused it. Nevertheless, I was most definitely NOT showing love toward my husband even in my thoughts. Our thoughts are the very root of the things we do.

Now, just to share one of my weaknesses with you, I struggle with my temper, I always have. I have tried to master this part of me. I do make progress but it's always slower than I would like. So here I am having another self awareness moment realizing my anger starts long before I have a blow up. I already start getting angry and creating situations in my head and then yell LATER at the people who I have decided hours before are the cause. AWFUL, I know. But there was a sweetness to this bitter moment.

As I was sitting embarrassed on the couch at what I had done this scripture came to my mind.

Ether 12:27
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble;and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselve before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I truly believe that because I want so desperately to rid myself of the evil that anger is, my Heavenly Father is helping me. He is allowing situations to happen that trigger it in me so that I can be humbled, and taught. But there are things we must do for this all to work. The scriptures have all the answers and guidelines to how we need to be living our lives. Lets break this scripture down.

Come unto me....
I invited Heavenly Father into my conversation in my head by asking for help with my "problem" of not being able to get my pans.

He then show unto me what my real problem was.
He showed unto me the root of my weakness.
He truly humbled me by making me see that I was not only using anger but not loving my husband as well as I should even in thought.

Now I haven't mastered this part of my being yet to have it become a strength but there is definite strength and power in being made aware of what our weakness is so that we can hopefully stop it from having as much control.
I testify that the scriptures are true and that if we, with all our hearts, want to be made better and whole our Heavenly Father will speak to us, in our thoughts, through the scriptures, and He will manifest our weaknesses to us so that we might overcome them through the cleansing and strengthening power of Christ's atonement. I know our Heavenly Father wants to help us, we just have to let Him choose how because He truly knows how we learn the best.

Find yourself…through prayer.

Sooooo it has taken me too long to finally start this post. I guess I just get a little bit of writers block, but I guess I would have to be a writer for that to happen;) So I hope this post makes sense. Let me introduce myself a little more. My name is Amy. I am the youngest of the three of us. I have the two very best older sisters anyone could ask for. I may not be perfect and I have still lots to learn but I have my sisters. I love them both more then they probably know and I look up to them…well down since Im taller but you know what I mean;) I just recently got home from serving a mission in Sweden for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and for those of you who don't know what that is it's pretty much volunteer service to teach people about the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have been home for almost 10 weeks now. Wow it is crazy how time flies and I had no idea I would be where I am now. Where is that you might ask…well I will save that for later;) Lets flash back a bit. When I was preparing to come home I was scared and nervous, I mean 18 months away from my family and friends I had no idea what to expect but I knew it was time. I had given that fear to the Lord and I knew that it was all going to be ok. When I got home I'll have to admit I was in a daze. I may have 'acted' normal but that fear came back and I knew that it was reality. Of course being a missionary you are still a real person haha don't think I am crazy but those problems and trials that I helped people with in Sweden I was a fool to think that I would come home and my family and myself wouldn't have to go through them and deal with any of it. All I wanted was to have everything perfect. I was wrong for thinking that way. What I wasn't realizing though was that I was trying to fix others and help them before I myself was in one piece. Yes, I had served a mission and people say you find yourself out there and I did. That is what I am talking about. Ever since I had been home I couldn't find ME again. I hated that. I was only treading the water and not really swimming. I had to do what we all should be doing everyday. Pray. I promise I was praying and my sincerity and surety only needs to go to the Lord but I want you all to know that I did come to the realization that I wasn't praying for the right things and I had to open my heart and listen to a new idea. A new plan. God's plan. I hadn't noticed enough how much God had been blessing me since I had gotten home. He was giving me answers after answers and I just wasn't listening the best I should have been. But then our perfect Father uses our weaknesses only to give us strength. I took that to heart and 3 weeks ago on a Monday morning I woke up to a txt from one of my sisters asking if I could help clean her basement and she'd pay me. I thought that was pretty strange because I never dreamed to ask them for money in return with helping them clean or babysit. I mean, I ate dinner at their house ALL the time so I thought that was more then enough:) (that is just the added bonus. I love being over there and their children are my everything.) I took that as a catalyst to why my brain started thinking of moving to Utah. Well an added jump to thinking of the possibility. My best friend, Star, who soon would be married lives in Utah and my other best friend had just left to go back down to school there. As much as I love Alaska and yes it will ALWAYS be my home, I was just not happy. I wanted to find me again. So that morning after reading the txt, I prayed. Out loud. I was serious. I grabbed my phone (in mid prayer) yeah that might be weird, but I asked ok Father, when do I move to Utah? I opened up to my calendar and September 10 could not have popped out more. I knew that this is what He wanted me to do. I will shorten this story by just saying that that night my Daddy bought me a ticket to Utah. Star told me a girl is just up and moving out of the house I wanted to move into, and I got a job interview. I just can't express enough how much I believe in Gods plan. Now of course it has not been perfect down here either but God is so aware of us all. We just have to let Him in. An example, I had to quit my job after a week of training for whatever reason and I was scared. I was scared I wouldn't make rent or have enough money for food etc. but God gave me so much more. He blessed me with another job offer which I start tomorrow and it was a pay raise! I planned it out to a T with my money, what would be rent what would be tithing and what would I have left to spend on food. I had exactly enough. No joke down to the very dollars. I told you earlier I would tell you where I am at and you all probably pieced it together, she's in Utah! but as true as that may be I am somewhere better. I am where the Lord wants me to be. I am where I want to be. I am finding myself again, and I am on the road to something greater because I am on the Lord's road. My mother tells me all the time "Amy, if you are not where you are, you are nowhere." Well my friends…where are you?

Just a reminder

Ill have you know that I spent a good hour or so last night writing this post only to have my phone die on me and it all erase! Ugh so frustrating! So here I am again repeating myself, only... just to myself I guess ;) In my house we have lots of things. I have come to realize that if it weren't for two groups of these "things", all my other "lots of things" wouldn't exist. That probably doesn't make any sense to you so let me explain. First, in my house we have lots of kids. That is how we planned it. Joel and I knew we always wanted a big family. Subsequently with lots of kids we have lots of toys, lots of clothes, thus lots of laundry (seriously... it never ends! someone please come up with affordable disposable clothes), lots of chaos, lots of food, lots of dishes, lots of messes, lots of hugs, lots of kisses, lots of school work, lots of quarrels, lots of sorrys, lots of well... you get the point. Second, we have lots of pets. Not to many, however some days I feel like we have a zoo. We have one dog, two cats, a bearded lizard, and a bazillion fish (which by the way when one dies we usually get two to replace the one... why?! I don't know). With these pets come lots of care, lots of hair.. literally everywhere, lots of messes in the yard that the "lots of kids" don't want anything to do with, lots of food to buy, lots of bowls to fill each day, lots of scratches in my couch, lots of scratches on my banister, lots of scratches on my deck, lots of comfort, lots of security, and so much more! Although some of these things are not ideal things to have, I wouldn't trade them for anything. I have come to accept them all, because to remove one would inevitably remove the source from where they came. Neither of the two I am willing to give up... ever! So the inspiration for my post comes from my daughter Brianna. She is my 7 year old little "mommy". If you want a good image of her in your head just picture Merida from Disneys "brave" and you've got it. That is straight down to the wild, crazy curly hair :) She is full of spunk and uniqueness. She is hilarious and completely off the wall. So it came as no surprise to me last night when I saw her write a note and tape it to her forehead. In fact, it seemed so usual for her that I didn't even check or ask what the note said. I went about getting kiddos ready for bed. I tucked them in and scratched their backs. By the time I had gotten around to Brianna she was passed out. I pulled the covers over her feet and went about my evening routine. As always, I check back in on the kids one last time before turning in myself. It was then, when I leaned over to give her a kiss, that I saw it. That same note still taped to my little firecrackers head. I shined my light on it to read what it said. "Hold Noctis". Now, noctis is our lizard, and unfortunately probably doesn't get as much attention as he should. I jumped back in my mind to earlier that night when my 12 year old, Jereme, had come to me and asked if we could set an alarm to remind them to hold Noctis. I was dealing with another child on the toilet and totally forgot. Brianna, however, knew exactly what to do. Write it down and stick it to her forehead! I looked again at the note and gently took it off and taped it to her headboard, kissed her and shut the door. It was then that I began to think about how we as adults try to ,day in and day out, remember the important things to get done. We set alarms, write sticky notes, tie strings around our fingers, tell others to remind us, set aside a specific time, or switch our watch to the opposite hand (love you mom!). We know that there is so much to do in a day, and our brains can only remember so much. So the question I ask you is "what are you setting your reminders for?" There are "lots of things" to do in a day, but do we get the most important things done? Or do we focus so much on the important and not so important that we forget what should be at the top of our list? Do my kids know I love them? Did I tell them at least once today how special they are? Do they know how lost I would be with out them? Did I tell them how beautiful they were? Did I comfort them in their times of need? Did I connect with God today? Did I ask him for advice in my life, and then listen for the answer? Did I let my husband know how happy I was when he got home? Does he know that he is just as important as the kids? Did I take care of the needs of my family? Did my animals get attention? Did their needs get taken care of? Did I treat them with love and like one of Gods creations? Did I check in with my loved ones? Do my parents know how much I love them? If I didn't do these things, then what was the point of my day?! Surely not just to do laundry and be a chauffeur. If I fail at these things, nothing else matters! So do what you must to remember the truly important things. Tie a string around your finger until you say your prayers, write a sticky note to tell your children how beautiful and special they are, set an alarm to greet your husband at the door with a kiss and a welcome home, switch your watch to the other hand until you call and check up on family, or even tape a note to your head until you spend quality time with your animals! Do what ever it takes. Do it today! Life is so unpredictable and uncertain that we can't forget to do the most important things in each day. Your life will change, and so will those around you. And you'd be surprised at how much you accomplish in a day when the "most important" come first! Just a side note... this morning when I saw Brianna, that same note was again stuck to her forehead! It worked though, Noctis got held :D

Is the jam on YOUR floor 4 days old?

So looking at it now the title to this post not only sounds gross but makes ME sound gross.
Let me just say I'm actually kind of a clean freak so this post is me sharing a growing pain with you :). Now for years I've been that girl (at the time a teenager and into my young twenties) that went to other moms homes and thought "Really? Is it that hard to keep your dishes done and your laundry caught up?" Not only did I think this about moms with one child but even those with a herd household of children.
Do you ever look back at yourself and want to slap yourself or laugh at your face and shake your head? Oh how hard I laugh now. Laugh? Is that the right word? I really do wish I would have been less judgmental. I think that is why I was given my little boy.
My little man is the cutest kid ever (and I say that because I know every mom says that about their own child and truly believes it so please don't take offense) but he is different than who I expected. I expected the perfect baby... No crying, sleeps through the night right away, can eat anything which would make things easier on moms tummy too, always happy, calm. Now please don't misunderstand, this is not a post about how annoying my child is because I honestly truly believe that although I didn't get the "perfect" child I thought I wanted I got the absolutely PERFECT child for ME as a new mom.
So, my journey with my little boy started almost a year ago now, and at first it was all that I expected. He was always very happy, and he actually did have a point for a couple weeks where he slept for 5 to 7 hour chunks (those are the things I fantasize about haha) and then things started to change. At about 2-3 months old we discovered a dairy allergy. Very sad not only for my baby but also for me because I desperately wanted to breastfeed so, I gave up the dairy. Never thought I was that emotionally attached to food but after three weeks of no dairy I almost started crying in a restaurant on a date with my husband. (I also may have cried several times in the privacy of my own home but that is unknown) So trial number 1.
Number 2 my baby walked early. He started at nine months. Now I thought I had a few more months before the craziness would start so that has been really hard cause every time I turn around it's
"We don't stand on the end table!"
"No you can't play with mommies pictures on the night stand" (oh yeah he climbs really well too)
"GET OFF THE TOILET"
"GET OUT OF THE TRASH!!!"
*deep breath*
I know these sound familiar to most but it's been hard for me to adjust. But that's not the hardest part of it. I like to have clean floors. Before a baby I mopped everyday. I mean EVERYDAY. I mean who likes crumbs or hair on their bare feet right? So my little guy is also very independent and VERY ornery. My husband has said "It's like having a little Ashley running around"
That's right ladies I'm raising myself. I thought it would be easier, almost like I'd relish someone just like me but the truth is I'M REALLY FRUSTRATING!
Anyway, Mr. Independent likes to feed himself, which I'm ok with. What I'm not ok with is the way he likes to tell me he is all done or doesn't like something. That would be the jam on the floor. Apparently he didn't want the biscuit with jam so it was thrown a couple feet away face down. Soon to be followed by the coffee cake, and oranges, and eggs. *frustrated sigh* When we first discovered this little behavior it was with nice juicy, messy, already chewed up and spit out peaches. My husband turned to me and said
"I can see the anxiety and panic in your face"
REALLY CAN YOU?!? So I used to get really frustrated about it. I would wipe and mop the floor and then just feed him myself to avoid anymore little hand spasm messes. But that didn't last long since he is so independent and wants to feed himself. So my point to the jam on my floor is this.
I need to mop.
HAHA no that is not my point, this is; Is it more important for me to have perfectly clean floors or for me to allow my child to learn at his pace (which is sooner and messier than I wanted)? Is it more important for me to show irritation toward him or praise and encouragement at the development of a new skill? And yes being able to throw things is a skill. I'm finding every day that the Lord is teaching me the most important life lessons through my little boy. Patience, encouragement, forgiveness, love, quality time, appreciation for help even when a job isn't necessarily done right or cleanly.
At church this Sunday I was talking to a friend in the hall (because my little man was too loud to keep in sacrament ;) another blessing so I could hear this ) And she shared the most incredible thing with me. She is studying a family foundations class and she read me this quote.

"Our journey to become Godlike as our Father in Heaven truly begins when we have children."

I know we don't always feel Godlike in our actions toward our children but we didn't finally get blessed with them because we are perfect. We got blessed with them that we might become perfectED. Now I know I should still mop up that jam cause yes it's gross that I've left it there too long, but I hope that as each of us clean up the messes around us that we won't forget the little lessons and growth those messes are bringing about for our benefit. I am so grateful for my little boy and that he would come down to me and teach me the things I need to learn as his mom. He's so endlessly patient with me and I hope I can show him that same courtesy.

So just to preface, I've never blogged before...ever. I'm what you would call technologically handicapped. So just so everyone knows, any cool designs or uploads on here are most likely done by Mandi. So you see already this is a joint effort. 
My sisters and I are similar in so many ways and different in sooooooooo many more ;). That's what makes this so great and what makes us the close sisters we are. The purpose of us doing this blog together is to hopefully reach EVERY woman. Well let me explain that more. 
Mandi, the oldest, has been married for twelve years! AND wait for it.... has number 6 on the way! WHAT?! For those of you with NOT that many kids your brains are probably like mine. You probably think "How do women with that many kids keep it going?" Well that's why this blog. For those women with that many or even more kids your thoughts are probably more like this, "So what's the big deal? After four you lose count" or "Psh 6? I've got 12!" :).  I'm sure you'll find things on this blog that will sound familiar and funny (if the not so funny times are past that is).

My contribution, as the middle sister, is a little less intense but still useful. My husband and I have only been married for four years. It feels like longer, but in a good way. We became parents almost one year ago. Last October we welcomed our little boy into our world. Now our world is totally different. Again, in a good way. So you new moms or soon to be moms out there, I got you :). There are so many lessons learned (hopefully the first time) in this first year. 

Now our Amy. Just to make it clear why our lives are so drastically different there is a total of 11 years between Mandi and Amy. I fall in there almost right at the middle mark. So anyway, back to Amy. Our youngest sister just got back from her Mission to Sweden for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. She's been home now for ten weeks and is already moved down to Utah, working, and going to school. She is one busy girl, and I'll let her really tell you the details but she is being introduced into that wonderful world of adult hood. So "all my single ladies" Amy will take care of you.

Like I said I think we cover almost all women. Even you moms that are empty nesters or soon to be that way might enjoy reading our posts and reminiscing of your days as a full time on the job mom (because we know you are still a mom even though your kids aren't there all the time). We hope to offer words of encouragement, laughter, and comfort with the knowledge that you are not alone in your struggles no matter what your stage of life. Life is after all a journey and on long journeys you need multiple fuel stops, so stop by here and get what you need to make it through your next stretch. We'll have goodies along the way for you too ;)